It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
