True but thats because hes a fetus.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
