It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
