Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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