Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
