Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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