All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
