ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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