just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
