It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
