I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
