so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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