how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
