You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
