Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
