bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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