Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
3 2 1 whiskey
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
