real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
