wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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