yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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