And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
