He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
