I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
