Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
