I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His nipple licking is glorious
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