i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
