i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
