i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
