Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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