so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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