I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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