Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
