How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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