She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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