I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
