Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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