it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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