Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
