I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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