You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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