shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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