We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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