I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
