DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
