Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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