he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
