no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
