i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
