My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
