she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
